Parenting is hard. It requires a tremendous amount of self sacrifice, organization, patience and the ability to just ‘loosen up’. Parenting is also very seasonal. In one year everything can seem like bliss and parenting feels like a cool breeze. You joke about having more because this is so easy! But watch out, in the blink of an eye you’ll find yourself immersed in tantrums, tears & what feels like turmoil.
Some days I want to evade my responsibilities of day to day care. However, I’ve learned over the course of my life that whatever appears easier is usually the wrong decision because most often it is imbedded in self, selfishness and the ultimate me-ism. As if my inner disaccord wasn’t enough; suddenly my hubby poured alcohol on my open wound. He asked me this extremely thought provoking question. He said and I quote, “What is the purpose in having children if you don’t want to raise them”? I was shocked! So far, everyone I asked the question was also shocked because I am yet to get a real answer for the question. Now look my husband isn’t a hold the woman down, bare foot and pregnant kind of guy. Not at all, he believes women are highly intelligent beings and extremely creative by nature. He thinks a woman can climb the ladder as high as her male counterpart. His take is: if you know you want to do this why have children right away? Is it fair to the child to bond with the nanny while you show up and receive kudos on the night of the recital? Is it too much to give them 3 to 5 years of life on earth filled with dedicated parental care & nurturing?
In my early years I took no thought of the benefits of being directly involved in the early years. I was a soldier, married and had a kid. I was all of 18. Now that I know the importance, I still chose to utilize a mother’s day out program a year ago. It helped me to detach a little from the children and do a few things that would be more challenging to do with the kidos. His take: if you must! He can definitely see the benefits in a mother’s day out program. It gives the mom a small break, allows the kidos to socialize in a structured setting, and it usually only for 2 days for 3 to 5 hours. Currently, the babies are at home and get 2 days a week for a few hours with their grandma. This is a great scenario for me & my oldest daughter, whom I home school.
I used to work from 8 to 5 (after we left the military); we needed it to pay the bills. I mean I didn’t love my kidos any less (I had two at this season of my life) but I can see how real quality time or just plain ole’ down time was little to none. I actually remember carrying the kidos with me to work on the weekend so I could get more work done. I was dedicated alright but to the wrong thing! I feel this is one of the reasons that verse in the Bible says you can only serve 1 master…it’s true! A parent has to be highly organized & very creative to pick up their child by 6 pm then maximize the 2 to 3 hours left before bedtime (if your child has a bed time) to squeeze in dinner, baths, talks and nightly reading. In my mind I’m imagining all this with one child, I can’t imagine the effort required to do this with more than one.
I’m very blessed to be in my position and I thank God more now that I type because quite frankly there are times when I forget my blessing and see it in an ill light.
Now of course there are scenario’s that require exclusions like single parenting & staying above poverty. I mean in these situations craftiness is required and prayer is the power. Outside of this everything else is usually a symptom of greed, over-indulgences, and keeping up with the Jones’. I point the finger at myself first. My indulgence with organic foods, supplements, expensive restaurants, buying extra stuff, and upgrading nearly drove me to toss the kids to the day care and slap on my Corporate handcuffs. I finally came back to my senses. I had to stop the madness, reassess my values, and realize that seasons change. The kidos really just want to learn, they want your attention, they want your love & praise, and most times they just want to play. God has put so much creativity within us. We have so much opportunity at our fingertips. If we conform ourselves not to the world we can expand on these gifts. I am learning to use it to expand my ‘everything’!
Look, I’m not remotely trying to pretend that some days aren’t rough, I’m not acting like I don’t get mad in the toy section but I stand firm to MY core values and I learned to respect my season. When I do this life is easy…so easy.
Life itself is fleeting and when you get lowered into the ground and that dirt is tossed on your bed, the only thing anyone will remember is how you gave more than you received, how you loved with all your heart, how you shared all you had, and how you cared for the less fortunate.
What will you be remembered for??
Look out for part 2.
*Please do not take offense, I’m just sharing my opinion and personal conviction. Really, I’m just sharing my life journey!*
Recent Comments