A life of balance & purpose!

Parenting & Personal Growth: No freaking day at the beach

Hello folks…Here is my thought for this Friday!

 

I have heard it said that parenting is the highest and hardest calling but you can’t fully appreciate the cliché until you have had the experience, until you become a parent.  Nothing in this world can teach you patience, personal development, forgiveness, self-sacrifice and long suffering like raising children can.  In the same breath I say that nothing teaches you how to love, give, share, laugh, be flexible and pray like raising children.  When I see them learning, playing peacefully, and mimicking my patterns; I pause to see the miracle they are and reflect on the privilege that I have been given to be a part of rearing them.  Children require you to go back to basics.  You are literally teaching them how to be God-loving, intelligent, loving, caring, and respectable human beings.  Realizing that one day, you will take the handcuffs off and send them out to fulfill their God-given destinies.  The job is exciting, extremely challenging, fun and tedious and yes, you can experience all these emotions and more in a one hour setting.

 

I am a mother of 5:  one still in the womb due May 8^th 2009, two toddlers ages 3 & 2, a 12 year old and an 8 year old.  I am one of the self titled, Extra Special Parents; I have been tasked with the unique and challenging job of parenting a child who has special needs.  While her strides and accomplishments bring lots of joy, the reality of our situation sometimes dampens my spirits.  I am saddened in the moments when we forego the nice weather because a pleasant walk is seldom pleasant, I get hung up because hanging out as a family with neighbors is not as easy as it sounds, we’ve lost the luxury of attending our church as a family and simply walking through the mall takes tons of pre-planning.  Library visits, child care and vacations also require a master plan and a tall cup of mocha latte but we’re learning to manage.  To all this busyness I add in homeschooling my 6^th grader, which has actually been the easiest of all the jobs.  Unbelievable, right?

 

I am blessed that during this season, it is not required to our survival that I work for anyone else.  I am an entrepreneur though and I find myself using this freedom to pursue many different ventures in my “spare time”.  I am yet to journey into the one venture that ceases all my searching.  I sense that my new vision, my new approach will be fruitful though…I can just feel it!!!

 

I have no idea where this journey called life will take my family but I trust that my loving heavenly Father, who created this universe and everything in it, has a magnificent plan that we will walk out.  My only requirement for success is to seek, rely on, and desire Him above all else.  This is easily said but requires discipline to execute daily.

 

I end this expressive moment with the following lessons I’ve learned thus far:

1.       Age does change your view on life and the view only gets better!

2.       Flowers can truly brighten up your day!

3.       Too much of any one thing is a bad thing!

4.       Laughter really is medicine for the weary heart & soul!

5.       Your best life is found when you abandon your ambitions and talk to God about His plan for you!

 

 

Walking in His mercy and Living in His grace,

Nakisha 'Kisha' Guzman

Through My eyes: http://www.balancedandpurposed.com/

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new!  Albert Einstein

Mama Venting

Some days it’s so noisy on my car rides that I can’t hear myself think.  There are some days when I simply want to turn on my music and travel to our destinations without saying a word; with toddlers this doesn’t happen often.  My toddlers are now three and two.  They are just about 15 months apart.  Our car rides are loaded with crying, loud talking, screaming, singing, coloring, playing and on rushed days lunch!  I wasn’t prepared…point blank.  Some days I long for a break; a moment to relive the working mothers role that I once played.  Funny thing is I desired a break from that role too.  I’ve realized everybody desires this break…on some days.  We humans are never truly satisfied nor will we be this side of heaven.  Think about it for a moment.  Can you recall those times when you said, “ If I could just fill-in-the blank and once you attained that something…it wasn’t good enough, it wasn’t what you thought it would be or you were simply ready for the next new thing soon after.

In my spirit I know that my diligent and purposeful time invested now will yield great returns later.  So with this in mind I tighten up my boot straps, grow a stronger set of ovaries, and continue on my mission.  Praying at all times, treasuring the good times and growing as a women during the tough times.

Thanks for listening.

Grace and peace to you all,

 

Kisha

Motherhood

Motherhood, it’s such a high calling and a great challenge.  It is a beautiful calling and a never-ending journey.  In my day of growing up most parents I knew merely desired for their children to graduate, go to college or secure a job and not have children before marriage.  Even for the Christian families I knew, going to church every Sunday and quoting back scripture was what being a Christian was all about.  As I grow in my understanding of the Word and I stumble along this path laid for me; I realize my role as Mother plays a determining factor in how the world will tarry.  Of course this role is not exclusive to me; it is the responsibility of every Mother. 

 

For the Christ following Mother, we must not only battle the pull to follow cultural norms but we must install in our offspring a desire to build a relationship with the Trinity (Father, Son & Spirit).  We should desire this relationship to be stronger than that of ours to them.  We cannot simply drag them to church and hope all is well in Christianity, we must purposefully and intentionally promote Bible study, devotional time, service oriented opportunities, prayer in every situation or decision, clean programming, and constructive time usage.  We must make God alive to them in a World that teaches everything opposite of Him & His guidance.  It is a challenge that many were unprepared for upon first becoming Mothers and it’s a battle that is ongoing lest we conform to the ways of the world and perpetuate the cycle that curses generations and our children’s future. 

 

I pray that with all my getting, I continue to get knowledge on how God wants me to interact, train & lead the various callings & giftings that are woven into the core of my children.  I pray that while my flesh will rise up in its selfish, what-about-me manner;  I will remember the sacrifice my Lord made for me.  I pray that all Mothers who are followers of Christ will return to the standards of the Word in our rearing.  Even when popular media would impress so many facets of deceit upon us and the minds our babies; I pray that we can pull from the inner strength, our spirit woman to lead us with hearts convictions not religious babble. 

 

While for many of us we will still anticipate the day of tears as our blessings walk into their college dorms (or the like); we know that our job is still not done.  We simply go into the next phase of Mothering…No longer COO’s (since God is CEO)!!!  Our role becomes more of a support role, a role that will inevitably include lots of prayer for them and with them, offering advice while being prepared for it to not be followed, always having an ear to listen, and always showing love despite the cost.  If we are blessed beyond measure, we will at some point be offered the opportunity to usher in a new-generation through grandchildren…a much more fun role might I add! 

 

Indebted To Christ,

 

Kisha

 

Heaven on the mind!

The critical question for our generation-and for every generation-is this:  If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all your friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disaster, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?  From John Piper’s God is the Gospel.

How many of you will read those words and say, “ You know, I just might be okay with that”?  If you are deeply in love with God, you could never be satisfied in heaven without Christ.  From Francis Chan’s Crazy Love.

Share with others!

a little dose of medicine

Man, does anyone remember those commercials, ‘life comes at you fast’?  It happened to me sometime late September, you know it came at me fast!  As I look around my office at calendars that haven’t been updated since September, as I review my blog postings that were once filled with passion; I see that having this new little one has already changed me (at least temporarily).  In conjunction with this ‘pause of life as I knew it’…toddlers, toddlers oh my, they are at the height of toddler-hood.  My almost 2 year old is wow…almost 2.  My 3 year old has more personality than I know  what to do with.  Lately, the cuteness is overpowered by the whininess and my innate desire to be asleep or laying in the bed with my Bible (from whence my help comes), is in-control of everything!  I feel as though I am coming out of it but I also feel like I have been saying that for about 2 weeks now.  I assume this means it must have been much worse.

It’s funny how soon we forget a blessing.  I have proven/done it, repented and pressed forward with a new (consciously making a decision) attitude.  I had moments of pure ungratefulness, pure cynicism.  Wholeheartedly thinking about the future when I had just received my present gift.  You know, whining and moaning about the very thing I had prayed for, for the very thing I blogged about in my personal blogs for months.  It’s been rough this pregnancy and I had been fantasizing on thoughts of May (expected delivery date) only half way through my 1^st trimester.  Geez, talk about ungrateful, huh!

I assume this happens more often than folks care to admit.  I’ve seen it happen with people in relation to jobs, spouses, homes, vehicles, and let me add pregnancy.  It’s almost like the American way, we are prone to take things for granted & be ungrateful.

To encourage the spirit in me I will have to stand on these scriptures (place them where I can be reminded of them, ya know), Colossians 4:2-Devote yourself to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart & 1 Thessalonians 5:18-Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Till next time (hopefully it won’t be so long),

Kisha

Becoming grateful before it’s too late

Becoming grateful before it’s too late

In this world of give me more and give it to me now, it’s hard to remain in a state of gratefulness.  At least this has been my experience thus far.  I often leave spirit-filled women’s retreats with so much insight, refreshment, and amazement.  Only to return home and find myself slipping ever so quickly back into the mind-set of ungratefulness.  Is there a remedy?

Often times it takes tragedy like the death of family member or an email thread of a child who has just succumbed to cancer to give a person a dose of their true reality but soon after like any good medicine it wears off and we display the sickening symptoms once again.  Is there a remedy?

I suppose the best remedy lies in prayer for revelation.  The follow-up of course is action.  What actions must we take to ward off the corrupt thinking that battles our spirit by the hour?  The answer is simple; simply said that is.  Be conscious and deliberate in our praise & the acknowledgement of our blessings. 

If we spend more time thanking God for the blessings that we have, we would have less time to gossip, murmur or go into a thinking frenzy about the things we don’t.  If we settled into the fact that God’s outcomes may not look like what we envisioned our outcomes to be then maybe, just maybe we could find more peace & joy in this daily Christian walk.

I don’t write as someone who has mastered the plan but as someone who strives to live a life that God would be very pleased with; in my attempt to do so I must subject myself to lots of examination.   I am just sharing my journey with you.  If you find my sharing annoying, delete them.  If you are tired of deleting them ask me to remove you from my mailing list.  Otherwise, I will assume that you are someone who cares about what’s going on my head!

Agape---

Parenting...no small task (part 1)

Parenting is hard.  It requires a tremendous amount of self sacrifice, organization, patience and the ability to just ‘loosen up’.  Parenting is also very seasonal.  In one year everything can seem like bliss and parenting feels like a cool breeze.  You joke about having more because this is so easy!  But watch out, in the blink of an eye you’ll find yourself immersed in tantrums, tears & what feels like turmoil.

Some days I want to evade my responsibilities of day to day care.  However, I’ve learned over the course of my life that whatever appears easier is usually the wrong decision because most often it is imbedded in self, selfishness and the ultimate me-ism.  As if my inner disaccord wasn’t enough; suddenly my hubby poured alcohol on my open wound.  He asked me this extremely thought provoking question.  He said and I quote, “What is the purpose in having children if you don’t want to raise them”?  I was shocked!  So far, everyone I asked the question was also shocked because I am yet to get a real answer for the question.  Now look my husband isn’t a hold the woman down, bare foot and pregnant kind of guy.  Not at all, he believes women are highly intelligent beings and extremely creative by nature.  He thinks a woman can climb the ladder as high as her male counterpart.  His take is: if you know you want to do this why have children right away?  Is it fair to the child to bond with the nanny while you show up and receive kudos on the night of the recital?  Is it too much to give them 3 to 5 years of life on earth filled with dedicated parental care & nurturing?

In my early years I took no thought of the benefits of being directly involved in the early years.  I was a soldier, married and had a kid.  I was all of 18.  Now that I know the importance, I still chose to utilize a mother’s day out program a year ago.  It helped me to detach a little from the children and do a few things that would be more challenging to do with the kidos.  His take:  if you must!  He can definitely see the benefits in a mother’s day out program.  It gives the mom a small break, allows the kidos to socialize in a structured setting, and it usually only for 2 days for 3 to 5 hours.  Currently, the babies are at home and get 2 days a week for a few hours with their grandma.  This is a great scenario for me & my oldest daughter, whom I home school.

I used to work from 8 to 5 (after we left the military); we needed it to pay the bills.  I mean I didn’t love my kidos any less (I had two at this season of my life) but I can see how real quality time or just plain ole’ down time was little to none.   I actually remember carrying the kidos with me to work on the weekend so I could get more work done.  I was dedicated alright but to the wrong thing!  I feel this is one of the reasons that verse in the Bible says you can only serve 1 master…it’s true!  A parent has to be highly organized & very creative to  pick up their child by 6 pm then maximize the 2 to 3 hours left before bedtime (if your child has a bed time) to squeeze in dinner, baths, talks and nightly reading.  In my mind I’m imagining all this with one child, I can’t imagine the effort required to do this with more than one. 

I’m very blessed to be in my position and I thank God more now that I type because quite frankly there are times when I forget my blessing and see it in an ill light.

Now of course there are scenario’s that require exclusions like single parenting & staying above poverty.  I mean in these situations craftiness is required and prayer is the power.  Outside of this everything else is usually a symptom of greed, over-indulgences, and keeping up with the Jones’.  I point the finger at myself first.  My indulgence with organic foods, supplements, expensive restaurants, buying extra stuff, and upgrading nearly drove me to toss the kids to the day care and slap on my Corporate handcuffs.  I finally came back to my senses.  I had to stop the madness, reassess my values, and realize that seasons change.  The kidos really just want to learn, they want your attention, they want your love & praise, and most times they just want to play.  God has put so much creativity within us.  We have so much opportunity at our fingertips.  If we conform ourselves not to the world we can expand on these gifts.  I am learning to use it to expand my ‘everything’!

Look, I’m not remotely trying to pretend that some days aren’t rough, I’m not acting like I don’t get mad in the toy section but I stand firm to MY core values and I learned to respect my season.  When  I do this life is easy…so easy.

Life itself is fleeting and when you get lowered into the ground and that dirt is tossed on your bed, the only thing anyone will remember is how you gave more than you received, how you loved with all your heart, how you shared all you had, and how you cared for the less fortunate.

What will you be remembered for??

Look out for part 2.

*Please do not take offense, I’m just sharing my opinion and personal conviction.  Really, I’m just sharing my life journey!*

Questions For Mothers

Let your voice be heard: http://mochatreadmill.blogspot.com/

The heart of the matter

Life is amazing.  Just when you think you've got a handle on things, the handle breaks.  Suddenly, everything spills.  You feel like there's a big mess to clean-up but you don't know where to start.  Can you attest?  I'm sure you can to some degree.

While growing up I always had a very soft heart for elderly folks and people with special needs.  I spent time at nursing homes, singing and bringing cookies.  Unfortunately I did not spend any time with the disabled community.  I never took a moment to educate myself on their needs, their lives or their heart.  I once (as politely as I could) glanced repeatedly, ok let's say stared from a bus stop at a child who had a physical disability standing on the other side of the street.  Now, I'm on the other side of the street.  I'm no longer the person scarcely glancing at the person with the apparent 'need'.  I am the person being glanced at, well, my child should I say.  Isn't it funny how life works?  I said I'd never live in TN and look at me now!

Most people are oblivious to the varied needs that exist with the disabled community.  I was.  In my situation, Kimmi's special needs don't fall within the 'normal' or highly researched needs like ADHD/ADD, Autism or Down's (that's Down's Syndrome).  Kimmi was born deaf but undiagnosed until about age 1.5.  She also battles vision disturbances, mental handicaps, behavior issues, and speech delay.  Kimmi however looks like the 'typical' child.  You wouldn't know she had a problem until maybe you noticed the Cochlear Implant attached to her head & hooked on her ear or maybe not until you spoke to her and she answered you back in sounds instead of words or maybe when you see her flopping on the ground or pulling away frantically while I'm in the check-out line at Wal-Mart.  She once suffered from seizure disorders but God led us to right medication to control this.  Kimmi is an 8 year old, high energy young girl.  She lights up a room with her smile, she warms your heart with her kisses & brightens your moods with her hugs.  By genetics she is a dancer & avid athlete.  By talent & gifting, she is a gymnast  & photographer.  Lately, she is into styling hair although she hates getting her hair styled!  She has so much joy. I like to believe this joy comes from the love she receives from her family, her teachers and our God.  I'm sure you can have a unsurpassed joy when you are un-tainted from the realities & deceptions of this self-destructing world.  Oh did I mention she also has some sensory issues.  This causes her diet to be very limited and what I consider unhealthy.  Since I am in the health arena, you can imagine all the articles I read on the links between behavior & diet.  Unfortunately, she eats/enjoys only all the wrong foods.

I'm sure you are wondering, so what's my issue.  What are you blogging about this for?  Well, at the heart of things it looks like this: An entire community of people exist who are basically displaced, stressed out, & sometimes desperate yet filled with hope!  Where's the answer for these folks?  It should be the church but the church neglects them more so than society.  Why is this?  Is it that religion has gotten so numbers driven that dealing with real issues are too much to handle?  Does the budget only have room for the basic church curriculum designed for the 'typically' developing child?  Is it because helping these folks may not yield a financial benefit to the church?  I'm sure this list of excuses could go on.

I've been struggling with what God wants me to do to help this sector of people whose heart usually bleeds from uncertainty, dismay, & desire.  We are uncertain (often times) on how to engage our child within the community, dismayed by the limited amount of resources, and filled with desire to give our children the best experience of living that life can offer.

My goal is to press in and press forward.  While they may be tagged with having limits, we want to make it where our special gems have no limits.  More to come!

Nakisha 'Kisha' Guzman

Visit: www.bloggersdiet.com

For Stay-At-Home Mothers

A little inspiration